I would like to apologise for any part I may have played in the growth of self interest and selfishness that seems to be the trend across all groups in society at this time.

As a coach, counsellor, and psychological support for business I have worked with hundreds of individuals. Through this work I have encouraged people to attend more closely to their mental and physical needs, to care for themselves as thoughtfully as they do for the other people in their lives. 

Unfortunately this focus on caring for and healing ourselves has led to a movement of self centered and self serving behaviour, where instead of considering ourselves equally important to others, there has been a shift to I am more important than others. To promote our own needs above those of our colleagues, friends, family, acquaintances and strangers, is to go against the natural human desire to create groups. Groups keep us secure, connected, informed, alive.

It is of course important to heal ourselves from any emotional damage we may have experienced, in order to ensure we don’t negatively impact others in our group – families, friends etc. but this should not be at the expense of the needs of the wider society we inhabit. 

This obsession with the self has created a world where too many of us are making use of poorly understood and badly applied ‘self improvement’ tools. The cavalier endorsement of mindfulness as good for all – when blatantly it cannot be. Lazy adaption and adoption of eastern philosophy and practices. A shallow take on Greek and Roman ancient philosophers – often turning up as superficial affirmations on posters. A lack of resilience in all our relationships, and resistance to taking personal responsibility for our thoughts, feelings and actions. The desire to be outraged at feeling offended. Anger management courses as a way to avoid anger. The shallow reading of the concept of living an authentic life – no, it doesn’t mean be honest, and honesty is not always the best policy. The belief that if I am OK therefore it follows that you are OK. Finally, the deeply short sighted belief that as individuals we deserve more, whilst rejecting the idea that less for me might mean more and therefore better for the group. 

The only personal growth that I want to encourage right now, is that of personal responsibility for our behvaiour towards others, towards the group, towards society.

I once more apologise if my work has suggested otherwise.