How we stop ourselves from getting what we want

Creating a plan and setting goals for change is exciting and energising, but we have to watch out for our capacity for self-sabotage. If any of the following resonate with you, don’t worry, once you have an awareness about the way you might trip yourself up, you can build resilience against it. That’s not to say these concerns aren’t real, but by attending to them and accepting that change will be hard work and there will be difficulties to overcome you can integrate them into the journey.

Here are the top 10 ways we think ourselves out of changing and where the thinking can come from:

1. I can’t change – I don’t truly believe in myself.

2. I shouldn’t change – the shouldn’t can come from what you believe those around you think: family, friends, colleagues, society.

3. Change is not practically possible – there are obstacles difficult to overcome – time, money, work, support, age, environment.

4. Change is too frightening – I am not happy with how things are now, but it is familiar, change is unfamiliar and I can’t manage the unknown.

5. Change is for others not for me – I don’t deserve change, I ‘should’ be happy with my lot, keep my head down and stick to the script.

6. I don’t know how to change – I don’t have the knowledge, tools, capacity.

7. It’s too late for change – I’m an old ‘dog’, you can’t teach me new tricks.

8. Change will be bad for others – change might be good for me but will impact negatively on those around me and they are more important.

9. Change is in the hands of others – I am not in control of things in my life.

10. I have tried to change before – the changes I want to make won’t be successful.